Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
