So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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