Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
