Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
