I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
