I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We're not piercing ourselves today.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
