Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
