3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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