she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
