Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you didnt know i had herpes?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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