put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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