I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
