She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize