bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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