My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
