Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize