What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
