I need help removing her.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
