we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
