i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
