We're facebook friends in real life
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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