living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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