doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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