It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
