I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
