I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
