Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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