I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
