That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
