Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
