butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
