If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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