dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
