I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
