Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
