no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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