HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
