Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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