someone owes me an orgasm
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
