just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
