i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
