I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
