Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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