Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize