Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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