Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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