How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The uberlube is also flammable
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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