I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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