I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize