But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
