At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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