He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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