doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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