A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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