Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
