True but thats because hes a fetus.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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