Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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